Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a specific subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder that revolves around the intense difficulty of tolerating uncertainty in one’s relationship or about their partner. While it’s normal to have some doubts in a relationship, ROCD sufferers experience these doubts with a level of intensity and frequency that feels overwhelming and distressing.

Common Obsessions in ROCD

Individuals with ROCD often grapple with persistent and troubling thoughts such as:

• Am I really in love with this person?

• Is this the right relationship for me?

• What if I am making a mistake?

• What if I am settling?

• What if I would be better in a different relationship?

• What if the relationship fails?

•“What if I am not attracted enough to my partner?

Typical Compulsions in Relationship OCD

To cope with these obsessions, individuals might engage in various compulsive behaviors, including:

• Compulsively confessing their doubts or uncertainties about loving their partner.

• Avoiding intimacy.

• Refraining from watching romantic movies.

• Mentally checking their emotions or “feelings.

• Focusing on past positive experiences with their partner to reaffirm their feelings.

A person with ROCD might categorize their relationship experiences as either entirely good or bad, struggling with the idea that relationships can involve both positive and negative aspects. For example, they may believe that they should always feel deeply in love with their partner at all times.

Treatment and Management

The goal of treating ROCD is to help individuals make decisions that align with their values and to accept the inherent uncertainty of relationships without needing absolute certainty.

Understanding ROCD can help those affected recognize that their struggles are part of a broader condition and that with appropriate treatment, they can work towards a more fulfilling and less distressing relationship experience.